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Tuesday, 5 October 2010

When lacking discipline -- just PUSH yourself! Be a robot!

Oh, oh, oh!

Today I did NOT feel like working out or even eating healthy. I just wanted to be a bum and play 'hookey' from my health. My usual self-motivation and almost obsessive drive for exact adherence to all things good for me just seemed to flee from my body, mind, and soul -- leaving me like an empty vessel ready to be filled by all things heavy and limp. I don't know if it was the rain, the unpacked boxes calling out to me in this house we just moved into with the disarray that goes with the move this time, the full laundry baskets after being gone for a few days, the knowledge that I only had this one day as I'm travelling AGAIN tomorrow for another 3 days. I was just beat.
Before I knew it, I was grabbing my sneakers and hightailing outta there! I zipped to the gym so fast, I hardly remember driving. I dashed out of the car and just mindlessly starting biking, treadmilling, lifting, and sweating. I often put more time and effort into my workout, but I was too afraid to stop and strategize my muscle groups today. I just went with the automatic flow of my flab! Then I went home and did 4 loads of wash, cleaned the bathrooms, folded and put away clothes, cooked some lentil soup with green salad, and pulled out everything healthy I could find on hand in the house to partake of my meals throughout this day. Well, it's now after 8PM and I've FINALLY come to my senses and am back in 'reflect' mode. Am I GLAD I didn't blow it!! I'm SO happy I keep a fridge and freezer and cupboards full of wholesome foods and no junk in the house. If so, I would've DEFINITELY been in 'noshing mode' on all the wrong substances like sat fats, simple sugars, and uber kcalories. I'm also glad I plunked down that money to join that gym and have been regularly going. This made me fall into file and do what I do without thinking of what TO do. Habits may be boring at times, but they do help when we are weak and uncreative -- both traits I had, today, in abundance and which I confess I have, inherently. So, today was one of those days that made me realize why I am not and will never be one of those smiley, happy personal trainers. As much as I love being fit and feel SO much better after my workouts and certainly, after I've gotten through a day of eating healthy and in control of my portions and limits -- it's just not easy for me. Which is why fitness feels THAT much better for me! Even the 'robot' version of myself. Sooner or later, the real me always comes back -- on my knees, yet clapping for joy!


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